"Billy Elliot"

Nothing too unique here, story of a father and son with a damaged relationship, but very watchable. Part of the watchability comes from the other, older son and seeing the father's relationship with both of his boys and how they differ. And whilst we get a healthy look at both relationships, the one with the older son never detracts or distracts from what this movie really is about; Billy, his dreams of being a ballet dancer, and his relationship with his father. This is very much about Billy and shows that no matter the condition of the relationship between a parent and child, the parent still loves and sacrifices what they can and must for their child, or at least that they should. This is a better than good movie that was almost ruined by the ending if not for that fact that it demonstrates the pure happiness and pride of a parent seeing their child succeed at what they want and what makes them happy.......................oh, um, spoiler alert by the way.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0249462/

"Dead Snow"

Nazi zombies! Do I really need to say anything more? I should point out that I love horror movies and I love cheesy B-movies. This was a cheesy B-horror movie and I loved it! What was great was that it started off as a legitimately tense movie with good scares. It quickly turned into an over the top gore-fest reminiscent of "Shaun of the Dead." It is in German with subtitles, so be warned.

Also be warned that this movie is awesome.

And be warned that this movie is really awesome.

And that there's a lot of blood and gore.

And that it's really awesome.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1278340/

"Red State"

I'm sorry, but could I please get just one more head shot before this movie ends. I don't think I saw enough splattering of brain matter and blood coming out the back of people's heads. With that said, this movie was very intense at times with great shock moments. Michael Parks as Abin Cooper was fantastic! And if you can get past the propagandistic nature of the film that all Republicans are religious zealots that have it in for everyone and will go to extreme measures to punish the "sinners" then it is a very engaging movie. Or if you believe that all Republicans really are religious zealots that have it in for everyone and will go to extreme measures to punish the "sinners," then you'll love this movie. Unfortunately you can skip everything after the chapel scene. After that it becomes quite predictable and gratuitous with the actions of these fanatics being oversimplified in one line of dialogue from John Goodman at the end. For someone as original and talented as Kevin Smith, I expected much more complexity. Or maybe this is just his way of saying how he thinks religious people, or more precisely religious zealots, are not complex individuals, but rather blindly lead sheep following their charismatic leader based solely on simple belief. To a point I agree that zealotry and bigotry are products of willing ignorance to most and blind acceptance of some, but to do what these people did to their fellow man in the name of religion just seems like it needs more of an explanation than that. Now, that digression aside, can I please see one more person getting shot in the head?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0873886/

"Kick-Ass"

Any movie in the comic book genre necessitates us to suspend belief. We must accept the impossible as possible within the world that we are watching. "Kick-Ass" quickly reminds us that we are very much in the real world and the absurdity of people dressing up in costumes to fight the battle against evil and crime. This is key to the success of this movie because just as soon as we are introduced to this reality which is our own, we are thrust into the theater of the absurd, and it's great! Do I believe a high school kid dressing in a costume fighting crime is going to get his backside handed to him? Of course. Do I believe an 11 year old girl in a bullet proof vest is going to hop up after getting shot or single-handedly take down a room of armed men? Of course not. But this constant back and forth between reality and fantasy is what makes this movie so engaging. I ended up getting so awestruck by the unreal, yet I was equally shocked by the real. Aaron Johnson who plays Dave/Kick-Ass, is a more believable nerd than Tobey Maguire could ever hope to be. Chloe Moretz as Hit-Girl is shocking throughout from her first dropped f-bomb to her last. And Nicholas Cage, where have you been?!?! Nicholas Cage is one who has fallen into the category of "acting" in every movie as himself. Any role, any movie, that is Nic Cage being Nic Cage in front of a camera. But here he is both the doting father and unsympathetic vigilante, and he was absolutely amazing. Now, I don't know if he was actually amazing, or if I just feel he is amazing because ever since "Gone in 60 Seconds" he's been the same character in everything he's been in (yes, I know that is not accurate, mostly because I have not seen everything he's been in since then, but it sure feels like it). Now, I may be off here, but this movie had a feel that was very much a parodical, which made seeing the many homages to the other comic book movies fun. Peter Parker running and jumping off roofs. The Batmobile with it's neon lights. Superman saving a cat stuck in a high place. I swear at one point I was actually watching "Watchmen" and there were many more quotes and references which were fun to see and hear.
Perhaps the most poignant moment in the movie is near the beginning when our ordinary Dave, before he becomes Kick-Ass, and his friend are being mugged by two guys as one man stands by and watches, doing nothing to help, save, prevent, or even deter this event from happening. This accurate and disturbing commentary on our society today reflects both our unwilling and unsympathetic nature when it comes to our convenience. I'm obviously not saying we need to design our costumes today and be out on the streets tomorrow (this movie only solidifies the fact that that is what we should not be doing), but we also wouldn't be too broken up to have a more compassionate and selfless attitude at times. Such a change in character, or lack of change, could result in something as dramatic as Catherine Genovese or as simple as helping someone through a tollbooth when they didn't even know they were on a tollway and didn't have the cash to pay it the toll but you offered to pay theirs so that they didn't have to pay the full, over-priced charge..........................or she was just in a hurry and was tired of waiting behind me. Either way this movie surpassed entertaining, which is what I was expecting it to be, into a movie that had meaning to it. Substance behind it's style. Take a lesson from that Michael Bay..............................low blow?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1250777/

"Killer Klowns from Outer Space"

This is a movie that could only have been made in the 80s and is ultimately better for being made then. You expect it to be lame and it certainly doesn't disappoint. This is amazingly bad! Horribly awesome! What is obviously a ridiculous idea is made even better by how serious it takes itself so as to add to the ridiculousness of it all. This is what cult classics are made of! Homemade makeup! 80s soundtrack! Dated special effects (yes, even for the 80s)! Horrible dialogue! Even worse acting. This movie was terrible from beginning to end and I loved every minute of it!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095444/

"Peter Pan" (2003)

Here is my list of the best Peter Pan movies:

1. Peter Pan (Disney's 1953)
2. Finding Neverland
3. Hook
4. The Fugitive
5. Any other Peter Pan movie besides this one
6. Every movie Ben Affleck was in
7. Every Uwe Boll movie
8. The Langoliers
9. Troll 2
10. Peter Pan (2003)

This is a movie that tried too hard and failed.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0316396/

"Dylan Dog: Dead of Night"

Now, I wasn't really expecting anything from this movie. My expectations were low and it's a good thing they were. Had they been any higher I probably would have been really disappointed rather than just the regular kind of I'll-never-do-anything-to-please-my-parents-disappointed. This really felt like a lower budget comedy version of "Constantine" except that Brandon Routh (of "Superman Returns" fame) was more flat than Keanu Reeves ever was. I know, hard to believe, right? It's hard to knock the acting when I doubt anyone could have made that dialogue sound good, but when I watch a movie and think that I could right better dialogue and perform it better, we have a problem. The over-the-top corny was fine because I was more or less expecting that, and there were some good ideas and good execution of those ideas throughout, they were just few and far between a lot of bad ideas and bad execution that filled the majority of screen time.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1013860/

"Ping Pong Playa"

I remember seeing a preview for "Ping Pong Playa" a while ago and thinking that it looked very funny. But you know when you see a preview for a movie and it ends up having all the best parts in it? Not only were the "best" parts in the preview, but all those "best" parts weren't even good in the movie. This was, unfortunately, a very forgettable movie. C-Dub, the main character, is pretty funny; you get to hear some asian guy speak as if straight from the ghetto, but that gets old after a few minutes. The best part of the movie is the song about eating cereal and watching cartoons being played over C-Dub eating cereal and watching cartoons, and that's the best part because of the song itself. The second best part is at the beginning when C-Dub is apparently killing it at basketball only to reveal that it's a group of elementary school kids he's playing on an 8-foot hoop. This effectively sets up the character and his flaws as a catalyst for the necessary growth to happen throughout the movie. There are a few cheap laughs and a few jokes based on racial stereotypes which are pretty funny, but I think that's because I'm racist and humor with regards to asian women being bad drivers is funny.....................it really is, just ask Jeeves. Now I've just told you the three best parts of the movie. Now, for the chance that this movie could have taken on being original with original subject matter and making it a unique comedy, it ends up being very formulaic with it's unoriginal humor and story, especially the predictable ending. I must however give this movie credit for accurately depicting a sort of deadbeat son still living at home not doing anything with his life and making excuses for it whilst his whole family all talk about him and his situation negatively behind his back thinking that he doesn't know that they are all talking about him when in fact he really does know that they're all talking about him and he doesn't appreciate it...................boy that sounds awfully familiar.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0991167/

"Ghostbusters"

I don't care how bad of a situation you're in; who's going to get upset when you're covered in marshmallow? I don't know if its nostalgia, the fact that it's just that good, or some combination of the two, but I love this movie. After having seen it numerous times over the years I still laugh out loud at so many jokes (yeah, I totally lol). The interactions and chemistry between the Ghostbusters is fantastic, the writing is both clever and cheesy, and the fact that they shake nearly uncontrollably every time they use their proton packs never gets old. Any deficiencies this movie may have I forgive for it being made in the 80's. It is obviously dated, yet has aged so well. Are there times the acting falls flat? Sure. Are the special effects out of date? For sure. Is it corny? Often. Is there a time I wouldn't watch this? Rarely! This movie is just plain watchable.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087332/

"Pulling John"

"Pulling John" is a documentary centered around two super-heavyweight arm-wrestlers (or "pullers") and their journey to compete against and beat John Brzenk, a man considered to be the greatest arm-wrestler of all time. It is important to point out the purpose of this film at first due to the fact that I was a bit mislead into thinking this was a documentary about John himself. And whilst it has plenty of him in it, the focus is on Travis Bagent and Alexey Voevoda, the two young, super-heavyweight arm-wrestlers, which was a bit disappointing to me. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of John and the montages of him successfully explains him and builds his mythological status, I was just expecting the whole movie to be that. However, with that complaint set aside, this is a good, very fun story to watch. Travis Bagent, a brash, arrogant American, is portrayed as a sort of antagonist to Alexey Voevoda, a humble, spiritual Russian, yet both are united together in their quest to beat John. Another drawback was that the narrative was often as choppy and jumbled as the fantastic Russian techno soundtrack. With random parts about John thrown in here and there with no apparent correlation to the current situation the two younger arm-wrestlers were in, I was often left to wonder if the filmmakers couldn't decide what to do the documentary about, John the giant-killer or the two up-and-coming giants. Despite this, it did portray the three men as more than just sacks of muscly meat, but rather thoughtful, ambitious, and dedicated individuals. In whatever way the presentation may have lacked, it was the subject matter that really did it for me. Who doesn't like seeing two muscly men romping around on a table together, their faces often inches from each other? Okay, not my favorite thing, but this was testosterone personified. Two men. One on one. No one else. A test of who is the best trained and most well prepared. The strongest. You knew who to root for. You knew who you wanted to lose. And you felt empathy for the aging super-puller still trying to live up to the myth he successfully and rightfully created for himself. Who knew that so much drama could be built and felt leading up to a bout that often lasted half a second?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1289451/

A Demonstration

Who doesn't like movies? Who doesn't like taking cinematic adventures? Whilst we all derive different levels of enjoyment from movies, we all like watching them. Whilst we all like watching movies, we all have different tastes in movies. To some, "Armageddon" is the pinnacle of cinematic genius. To others, divergence from AFI's top 100 list would be criminal. We all have certain genres that we prefer over others, shameless guilty pleasures, nostalgic tear jerkers, mindless entertainment, and what we believe to be well-crafted cinema of the highest level.* This isn't so much an exercise in telling you what to think about a specific movie, this is an exercise in what I think about that movie and why I'm right about it.** This isn't an exercise in telling you what I think about new movies or newly viewed movies, this is an exercise in telling you what I think about every movie I watch. Whether I've seen it or not, whether it is one word or an entire thesis, I will share with you my thoughts on every movie I watch.


*I realize this above statement may be construed as false since it is apparent that not everyone has the ability to discern well-crafted cinema of the highest level from the claptrap that populates todays movie-watching experience.

**It is my experience that sarcasm rarely translates properly over the written word, despite a person or persons being familiar with the authors' sarcastic nature.